In response to what SilverHubby said about Beneath Your Beautiful.
SilverHubby talked about not being beautiful on the outside. For him, the beautiful is beneath. But for me… well… I have a lot of ugly underneath the surface. And for a long time, I didn’t want to let him see it.
From the song lyrics:
You’ve carried on so long
You couldn’t stop if you tried it
You’ve built your wall so high
That no one could climb it
But I’m gonna try
I’m not going to go into details about Depression. If you or a loved one has had it, you know just how insidious and destructive it is to a person’s psyche. If you haven’t, then be very grateful. I just ask you to believe me when I say it is a very very real illness and not just the feeling of being sad. Sadness is a normal part of life, and is to be experienced along with joy and anger and love and satisfaction and all sorts of other emotions.
Beneath my beautiful was a mess of depression, self-doubt, insecurity, rage, and all sorts of mental blocks to starting a relationship. I had times when I screamed at SilverHubby as my emotions and mood swings threw me into turmoil. At those times, I was the Beast and he the beautiful Prince. I don’t like remembering those times, but what I do remember is that he never thought less of me for being very much less than perfect on the inside. He just loved me.
I’m gonna climb on top of your ivory tower
I’ll hold your hand and you’ll, you’ll jump right out
We’ll be falling, falling
But that’s okay
Cause I’ll be right here
He still does.
Happy Valentine’s Day, to my Beast and my Prince and my best friend.