#WickedWednesday – So I Asked SilverHubby About BDSM

And this is what he said …

I first discovered the BDSM community back in the early 1990s. Back then, the Internet was barely getting started and Compuserve was where it was all at – am I showing my age? I found one of the sexuality forums there that had a BDSM ‘room’ and eventually became a Sysop.

BDSM is actually a contracted acronym of Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism. I self identify as a pansexual dominant sadist. Getting confused yet?

Anyway, to drag what I am pleased to call my mind back to the point … for me, BDSM isn’t something I do, nor is the label ‘pansexual dominant sadist’ a personality I switch on in some way, or a mask I can wear, then take off again until I need to use it the next time. It’s actually something I am – it’s there all the time. Sometimes it is very ‘front’ – during play, for example. Other times it’s turned way down and, if you met me in everyday life i.e. not in a kinky/sexual setting, you might never know. But it is still there, I am aware of it pretty much constantly. Frankly, I cannot imagine an intimate relationship without it – it would be a dealbreaker. Thankfully, I have Silverdrop, and she is everything my personal kink (and hers for that matter) could ask for.

There, can I assume that’s all as clear as mud?  🙂

Previous posts from So I asked SilverHubby here

This entry was posted in #Memes, #WickedWednesday, Archive, BDSM on by .

About silverdrop

Silverdrop and SilverHubby are a middle aged married opposite-sex couple living in the UK. Silverdrop is gender-queer and SilverHubby is pansexual. We use this blog to talk about our sex lives (especially our fanaticism about anal and pegging), share erotic photos, and offer sex toy reviews. Our [sex isn't always great], mostly because of our health problems, but we always write honestly about it. Our kinks include BDSM, gender-play, pegging, roleplay, fantasy, and lots and lots of anal.

9 thoughts on “#WickedWednesday – So I Asked SilverHubby About BDSM

  1. Silverdrop

    Becky, SilverHubby isn’t shy about his age, but when asked, will often jokingly say “Fifty-several.” 🙂

    I might say “Forty-several.”

  2. Kazi G

    Heh… I still remember BBSing in the 80s 😛
    I can’t turn myself off and on either but I’ve gotten used to modulating it. Having discovered the fun land of kink I don’t believe I could ever go back and be satisfied.

    ~Kazi xxx

  3. Lord Raven

    lol the 90’s were a fun time for a few of us I would think. Yep clear as mud but you got to be who you are. Thanks for sharing

  4. Gemma Jones

    I have always had an aversion to labels. I also find the expectation from others to complain which labels apply to you is oppressive at times. But as you have stated you always know what you are even if other people aren’t always aware.

  5. Rachel Kincaid

    I think some of the BDSM labels are completely confusing for the newcomer. Finding your feet with what you like and don’t like is important…the rest is just a pretty label.

    Rachel x

  6. dedi

    I think that is often missed: BDSM is something you experience together. Of course you can do it to yourself, but that is not that much fun.
    I like how you refer to Silverdrop as your personal kink 🙂

  7. Marie Rebelle

    I am the same: I am constantly aware of who I am, that I am submissive. It’s part of me, though not obvious to everyone.

    Nice post!

    Rebel xox

  8. Molly

    Ha! Labels eh… don’t you just love em? And actually I think you have explained very well and this is way clearer than lots of other mud I have seen on the matter over the years

    Mollyxxx

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