#WickedWednesday – So I asked SilverHubby About Discussion …

And this is what he said …


Hmm, discussion eh?  This takes me back to degree study days … “Thinking of Homer’s Oddyssey and the Iliad, one has been described as a poem about war, and the other about peace. To what extent do you think this is true? Discuss.”

Did the above just blow what little remains of my street cred? I’ve just revealed myself as a classical scholar. *grins*

Anyway, to get back to the subject … It also makes me think of some pretty fundamental things about our BDSM relationship, that are probably at least somewhat applicable to other people’s too.

  • We discuss, I decide. That is to say that I take great pains to ensure that you have a voice that is listened to. So, although you have submitted to me, you tell me you have never felt so understood, cherished, loved etc.
  • First among equals. Some years ago, to my surprise at the time, you told me that I had feminist tendencies because of the way I see women as equals. You are also my equal in my mind and yours and I seek your opinion in most things before deciding – often with ‘lively’ discussion. This can range from the semi-lighthearted “Which flogger would you like me to use tonight, dear?” to our recent discussion as to which new car to buy.  But you have chosen to submit to me and that, paradoxically, makes me first among equals in our relationship.
  • I actually find it very difficult to say “No.” to you. That seems to be getting harder as your health deteriorates. This tendency has sparked some interesting discussions.
  • Your opinion matters deeply to me – you are my sub, not my doormat. That’s why I value our discussions – even the ones that turn into disagreements.  *grins*
Hmm, have I been rambling again?

Previous posts from So I asked SilverHubby here

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About silverdrop

Silverdrop and SilverHubby are a middle aged married opposite-sex couple living in the UK. Silverdrop is gender-queer and SilverHubby is pansexual. We use this blog to talk about our sex lives (especially our fanaticism about anal and pegging), share erotic photos, and offer sex toy reviews. Our [sex isn’t always great], mostly because of our health problems, but we always write honestly about it. Our kinks include BDSM, gender-play, pegging, roleplay, fantasy, and lots and lots of anal.

6 thoughts on “#WickedWednesday – So I asked SilverHubby About Discussion …

  1. Lord Raven

    I agree, very good points. D/s is not about making a doormat out of someone. Even I have times saying no to my sub is difficult though I know it is not good for her. Thank you for sharing

  2. Rachel Kincaid

    My heart alternates from melting and swelling with pride at you two being able to share this with all of us. Touching but real life too. A wonderful discussion.

    Rachel x

  3. Molly

    I think our D/s relationships are remarkably similar in so many ways. We discuss too… he decides and yes, we are equals who have agreed on an inequality because we both like it that way.


  4. Marie Rebelle

    Like Emily said, the deteriorating health and what it means in your relationship, touch a never.

    We discuss, I decide… that is the way it works over here too. And I am not the one who decides 😉

    Rebel xox

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