#WickedWednesday – So I asked SilverHubby to respond to a comment …

And this is what he said …

Back in January, the lovely and delightful Marie Rebel, of Wicked Wednesday fame,left this comment:-

“It’s always good to remember things – good and bad. I think you are in a better place now than you have been back then.”

It was on this post, the end of a short series in which Silverdrop wrote about the end of her first marriage.

For me, and many others I suspect, our memories and experiences help define us. Some of my best memories in terms of self-growth are also some of the scariest/most embarrassing/exciting/sad. Here, in no particular order,  is a selection:-

  • Realising, despite having spent 5 years (as a teenager at school) as a Sea Cadet, that I was going to join the Air Force, not the navy.
  • Drafted, along with many other Air Force personnel in the area, as volunteer firefighters when forest fires swept through the Snowdonia National Park, in Wales, in the late 70s, and a wall of flame shot up the steep hillside and over our heads and on into the next part of the forest.
  • Losing my virginity – it was all over embarrassingly quickly.
  • Realising that my parents were racists following their reaction to my bringing home a girlfriend from the Indian sub-continent – her skin was almost ebony in colour.
  • Hearing the words “Oh shit!” in my headset from the pilot when we were on final approach for a landing at an RAF base.
  • Saying “I love you.” to Silverdrop for the first time and meaning it just as much (if not more) today, eleven years later, than I did then.
  • Silverdrop telling me she loved me for the first time.
  • Being at the helm of a friend’s yacht, close hauled to the wind, spray in my face, as we raced up the English Channel … realising that there was nowhere else in the world I’d rather be at that moment.
  • Walking out onto a stage to give a presentation to almost 3,000 people and loving every second of it, apart from the 0.001 second of sheer, abject, knee-weakening terror just before I walked out.
  • My first wife’s very negative reaction to my telling her about my sexuality.
  • Realising that my first marriage was doomed.
  • The Berlin Wall coming down and the collapse of the then USSR. I served during the Cold War and those two events changed my world.
  • Realising that I liked sex with men as well as women.
  • My first boyfriend.
  • Telling Silverdrop I liked sex with men as well as women, and her extremely positive reaction to this news. It came out naturally in conversation. I don’t remember exactly how, but I do remember my exact words: “Well I am bisexual you know.”
  • My first prostate orgasm.
  • Realising that Silverdrop’s deteriorating health made no difference to the way we feel about each other – likewise with my failing health.
  • Finally accepting that, despite not being even remotely eye candy, I am a good and beautiful person with much to give. Silverdrop, and the lovely B before her who started the process, are responsible for that.
  • Coming to terms with the fact that I am a sadist as well as a dominant. Being eternally grateful for finding Silverdrop who, as a masochistic submissive, explores this with me.
  • Accepting that almost making it big time in Silicon Valley (nobbled by the dot.com implosion 14 years ago) and the riches that would have gone with that, no longer matter (it took a while). The biggest consolation prize:- I met Silverdrop a year later – probably wouldn’t have happened if we’d been successful in the Internet startup.


All the above, and more, have helped make me the person I am today. Like most of us, I do have some regrets, but very few. I agree with Rebel that it is good to remember both the good and the bad. She is also right in saying that I am in a better place now than I have ever been.

Previous posts from So I asked SilverHubby here

Something for the weekend

This entry was posted in #Memes, #WickedWednesday, Archive, Relationships, So I asked SilverHubby... on by .

About silverdrop

Silverdrop and SilverHubby are a middle aged married opposite-sex couple living in the UK. Silverdrop is gender-queer and SilverHubby is pansexual. We use this blog to talk about our sex lives (especially our fanaticism about anal and pegging), share erotic photos, and offer sex toy reviews. Our [sex isn't always great], mostly because of our health problems, but we always write honestly about it. Our kinks include BDSM, gender-play, pegging, roleplay, fantasy, and lots and lots of anal.

8 thoughts on “#WickedWednesday – So I asked SilverHubby to respond to a comment …

  1. Anna Sky

    Oh, that brought tears to my eyes. My husband left me unexpectedly and that brought me to my knees but gave me time to realise who/what I truly was. Then I met S and told him that I was a somewhat masochistic possible submissive. I don’t regret anything in my life as I wouldn’t be where I am as happy as I am – I think what I’m trying to see is that you have to experience the bad to recognise the good. Anna xxx

  2. dedi

    Great post. I think admitting to embarrassing things is the hardest thing to do. Although I find that things that are extremely embarrassing in the moment tend to fade over time…

  3. Lord Raven

    Thank you for sharing this sir, I needed to hear this more than anything today. A beautiful picture of a life you have lived and things both good and bad that brought you to the place you are today. I wish you both love, peace and joy in your amazing journey in life together

  4. Kazi G

    Oh, wow… thanks for showing us all the pieces! It’s all those moments, good and bad, that shape our response to the world.

    ~Kazi xxx

  5. Molly

    This is an amazing reflective list. I find myself curious about some of the stories here and also about you. I think dinner with you two and Sir and I would be a wonderful evening.

    Mollyxxx

  6. Marie Rebelle

    Thanks for your kind words! I feel honored that you have used one of my comments to make a new post to join in with this week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt.

    I always try to remember where I come from, what hardships and beautiful times I had in the past and I agree with you that all of those experiences have helped to form us to the people we are today. I’ve had quite a lot of hardships in my life (I was a teenage mom and was divorced twice – to mention only two things) and thanks to my optimistic nature those have made me stronger and made me into the person I am today. Some of your points above made me smile as I remembered some of my own experiences.

    Thanks for that 🙂

    Rebel xox

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