Words: Communication in a BDSM Relationship

Some people outside the BDSM community mistakenly think that the submissive is powerless, unable to express their needs/desires/wants etc. This is, at least in a healthy and consensual relationship, completely untrue. Some years ago, when we were LDR, we had our first fight (it was on the phone). We had already had several 3D visits by this time, and I was collared. Here’s what SilverHubby said to me afterwards, following up in an e-mail:-

Have I told you yet today?

How happy I am that we had our first fight?

How proud I am of you for being able to initiate it?

How angry I was with myself for being the cause of it?

How hard I am going to try to remember everything we decided together?

How much I love you?

How much more I love you with every passing day?

How much pleasure (of all types) I get from owning my beautiful little slavegirl?

He was ‘happy’ we’d had a fight because I had some concern that I wouldn’t be able to fight my corner after I was collared. My submission runs very deep, and it is sometimes hard for me to say “No.” or otherwise disagree with SilverHubby. I’ve become better at it.

I rest my case.

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About silverdrop

Silverdrop and SilverHubby are a middle aged married opposite-sex couple living in the UK. Silverdrop is gender-queer and SilverHubby is pansexual. We use this blog to talk about our sex lives (especially our fanaticism about anal and pegging), share erotic photos, and offer sex toy reviews. Our [sex isn't always great], mostly because of our health problems, but we always write honestly about it. Our kinks include BDSM, gender-play, pegging, roleplay, fantasy, and lots and lots of anal.