Monthly Archives: August 2013

#WickedWednesday – Do We Talk Dirty During Sex?



I asked SilverHubby to give a slightly more erudite and expansive answer. And this is what he said:

I can’t remember a time when we didn’t talk dirty during sex, between sex, after sex, in the bath, doing the housework, eating, in the car etc. Hmm, we talk dirty most of the time, don’t we? Oh hell yeah! In fact, the dirty talk is effectively foreplay for us and often leads into sex of some sort. Like yesterday afternoon, after my shower, when  🙂

This probably started years ago, when we were in a trans-Atlantic LDR and physically apart most of the time. We talked dirty in chat, texts, e-mail and, most especially, on the phone. It seemed to come so naturally and flowed easily between us. It is also doubtless related to our ability to talk in a meaningful way about anything – even the hard stuff.

We both love to weave what can sometimes be quite intricate verbal fantasies, usually involving you being exhibited and used in front of others – then used by the others, then punished for being such a slut. This can get both of us from a non-aroused state to horny as hell let’s do it, very quickly. The right words can tip either or both of us over into orgasm very easily.

Often the fantasies are things we would never actually do in real life. But as often, they are things we either have done (and will do again), or really, really want to do. Being fantasies, there are no condoms involved, or worries about cocks or toys being moved between orifices. So anything goes. And does.

Our disabilities mean we can’t have half as much sex as we used to, or want to. But talking dirty outside of sex can keep our libidos ticking over quite nicely in between.

So yes, we both love to talk dirty to each other during sex. Our sex is loud, hard and we wonder if one day the neighbours will call the cops! We also love to talk dirty to each other most of the rest of the time, too.

Hmm, this may be the first Wicked Wednesday where I’ve given a straight answer.

NOTE: Silverdrop happily considers herself a slut. So does SilverHubby (he’s a slut too, but that’s another post). We both use the word in an entirely complimentary way.

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#TMITuesday – Porn, Sex etc.

Porn and sex in the same TMI Tuesday?

*Gasp, shock, horror*  What is the world coming to?  EVERYBODY PANIC!

You want us to do what?

You want us to do what?

1. What sex act have you seen in porn videos/films and have never done but want to do? (Describe act or post a link).
Silverdrop (SD):
 On my knees, one man in my mouth and another fucking me from behind. Wait, no, add a third man lying under me, so I can be fucked three ways at once. Mmmmm…
SilverHubby (SH):
We don’t actually watch much porn any more – too unrealistic, in our experience. MMF threesome. The guy needs to be bisexual – I am bisexual pansexual. Ideally, it would actually be us two with another couple, in a situation where we all lost track of who was doing what to whom and with what. Hey! I can wish, can’t I?

2. A lot of porn is remakes of old ideas. It’s difficult to be creative in porn because it’s all basically about the same thing. Everyone is starved for ideas, and if some new idea is successful, it’s immediately swamped by knock-offs. Do you have an idea for something even a little bit new in porn?
Okay, so there are these sorority sisters, right? And they order a pizza. And when the delivery guy gets there, he finds them having a pillow fight….

(Nope. I got nothing.)
SH: I don’t expect the porn industry to come up with new ideas. It’s all basically variations of insert tab A into slot B with various numbers and combinations of participants and sexualities, and I’m OK with that. What I’m not OK with is the lack of disabled people, or even ‘ordinary’ i.e. not orange/beautiful/perfect/enhanced/young people all the time. What I also want is for more of the performers to look like they’re actually enjoying themselves. And while I’m on a riff: what about men ejaculating inside their partner (mouth, anus or vagina) – condoms on, of course – I do not need to see spunk all over one (or more) of the participants to know that fun has been had. Hmm, this is in danger of becoming a rant, I shall shut up now.
SD: Yes, I’d like to see older or disabled people too!

3. Whilst ideally we’d all like to say our partner provides us with the best orgasms, what’s really making you see stars?
a) masturbation
b) sex toys
c) my partner(s)
 Masturbating my clitoris and cunt with a sex toy while my partner fucks me in the ass.
Err, but I do have my best orgasms (in my whole life ever, bar none) with Silverdrop. But to be specific: prostate orgasms. With the help of Silverdrop’s fingers, a toy or SD pegging me. These orgasms can leave me a weak and quivering mess. Incidentally, I bet SD’s answer involves her G spot.
Err, I was wrong about SD’s answer. *hangs head in shame* Or not.

4. Have you ever ‘cheated’ on your partner, and did they know/find out? Would you want someone to tell you if your partner was ‘cheating’? Define what you consider ‘cheating’.
  I have to agree with Dan Savage that far too much stress has been laid on monogamy as the be-all and end-all of how to measure the status of a relationship. I’m almost certain my first husband never cheated on me. What ended our marriage was him failing to honour the ‘to have and to hold, to love and to cherish’ part of our vows. I think giving in to emotional weakness and hormonal urges is forgivable. Failing to love and respect and care for your partner – not so much.
Yes, I cheated on my first wife with Silverdrop. Although I was already completely emotionally divorced from that relationship, and looking for a way to end it before I met SD, I still cheated. My first wife did not find out, so far as I know, but she suspected there was someone else. I would want someone to tell me if my partner was ‘cheating’ – ideally my partner. I do not consider the traditional definition of cheating to be accurate. For me, it is the dishonesty of a secret partner that is the problem. A part of me regrets that I cheated on my first wife, by being dishonest. I will not do that to SD.


Bonus: Give us 2-3 erotic paragraphs incorporating the following words in your story(ette): Magnificent, Nero, Licks, Hard, Nipples. (And no, you can’t use them all in one sentence).
 “That’s a magnificent litter,” Jack said, as they looked down into the nursing bed. Eleven blind puppies squirmed and competed for a space at their mother’s nipples.

“Yes, Tansy is a good mother,” Nathan said proudly. Though clearly exhausted, he knew the bitch wouldn’t sleep until she had licked her puppies clean. “It’ll be a few months before any of these are ready to leave home. Are you sure you want a boxer?”

“I had a boxer named Nero when I was little. I took it so hard when he got cancer and had to be put down. I know it wouldn’t be the same, but they make such great pets.” Jack replied.

“Then I’ll reserve one for you,” Nathan said.

“Thanks. Hey, wanna fuck?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

SH: No time. I have a Silverdrop to err, deal with, because she is very silly and I love her.  😉

Note to those who wonder: SD does her answers first, without SH looking. Then SH dictates his answers for her to type. This way, we both answer without being influenced by what the other has already said. This sometimes has amusing results.

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TMI Tuesday blog


SilverHubby on Protect the Property (PTP)

There are many like it. But this one is mine.

There are many like it. But this one is mine.

We use this phrase often,and it can be found out there in the BDSM world too, so I asked SilverHubby to talk about it. This is what he said …

What is PTP?

Protect the Property, or PTP as we say it to each other, is a concept I first came across many years ago, when Compuserve was where most of the kinky action was at and today’s Interwebs were a twinkle in the eye. Basically, it is a shorthand way of referring to the way we (and others) look out for each other within our relationship. Although I first heard it within the context of BDSM, it is applicable to others, I think. It means we always have our joint welfare in mind. This might mean that I don’t spank Silverdrop to the point where it causes a flare in her Fibromyalgia. Or, as a more mundane example, it means that I don’t try to accomplish so many tasks when I go out that I am left bed-bound for couple of hours when I get home. Also, we look out for each other by pointing out if we feel either one of us is attempting too much and hasn’t realised it.

How does it affect your relationship?

It is all-pervasive. It is something that is in our minds pretty much all the time. Not just at playtime. We are both disabled and have a limited amount of energy and capability we can apply to the tasks (not just the kinky ones) of any given day. The amount of energy is also quite variable – sometimes we can’t figure out what’s available until we actually start doing ‘stuff’. Quite simply, we are always looking out for each other. We/our relationship (often referred to at home as “Us.”) comes first, always.

Can you give a practical example of PTP in action in your relationship?

Well, I’m glad you asked that.  🙂 The most recent example was last night. You were in a recovery day from a migraine the day before and therefore not particularly ‘present’ for much of the day. I had been out doing some top-up grocery shopping during the afternoon and an emergency errand for a house-bound friend and was therefore in much more pain than usual, especially in my hips. This, based on what I have written already, might seem a classic PTP moment where we snuggle and go to sleep. But not. At bedtime you started stripping off and said “Let’s have anal.” or something very similar. I thought about it for several nanoseconds and agreed, even though I knew thrusting was probably going to hurt my hips (it did). But it was one of our best anal sessions ever (apparently I growled – a lot).

So how does that fit in with PTP? It’s actually very simple, in a vaguely complicated way. Our disabilities and other things can put a serious cramp on our ability to have all the sex we want. But PTP also means protecting our sexuality and libido. This means having sex. As so often in life, it is all about striking a balance. After the sex last night, although you were exhausted and I was in even more pain, we both actually felt physically and mentally much better, because it had been three days since we’d had any sex.

So, all as clear as mud?

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something for the weekend.

Something for the weekend

#WickedWednesday – I Never Heard These in Nursery School


So I asked SilverHubby to handle this one – as he does most of the Wicked Wednesday posts. This is what he said…

When was the last time I ran with the Wicked Wednesday prompt in the obvious way? You only have to see the archive for examples of me wandering off at a tangent. Some might even call it verbal rambling, but that would be a slanderous lie.

So, nursery rhymes, some of which I heard in the Air Force, some from my own furtive fertile imagination.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
But all the king’s horses and all the king’s men,
said “Crap! Scrambled eggs for breakfast again!”

Hickory dickory dock.
Her lips wrapped round my cock.
The clock struck one.
She made me come.
Hickory dickory dock.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a round of cheese.
Jack came down with a smile on his face,
And his trousers round his knees.

Oh the Grand old duke of York
He fucked ten thousand men
He fucked them up to the top of the hill
And he fucked them down again
And when he was up he was up
And when he was down he was down
And when he was only half way up
He had to get more lube.

Who me, silly?


Slut-shaming in unexpected places

The White Dragon

Good girls don’t like violent sex.

SilverHubby and I are avid readers. In fact, part of our daily routine is to read aloud to one another before bedtime. Though you might expect it to be erotica, it’s more likely to be fantasy and science fiction.

Currently, we’re reading the Pern books. If you aren’t familiar with them, the premise is that on a world called Pern, dragons exist, and at the moment of hatching, that dragon chooses a person to bond to for life. The dragonriders have special privileges and responsibilities and there’s a really dangerous lifeform known as Thread – and really, you don’t need to know any of this to follow the rest of the post. Suffice it to say, the books are fun and not terribly deep, the first one was published in 1968. The author is female.

In Chapter XII of The White Dragon, a young man named Jaxom is training his dragon when there is a dragon mating flight nearby. Since dragons are telepathic, the mating flights tend to get everyone nearby rather aroused. He goes to visit his lover Coranna, interrupts her at her work, and takes her forcefully on the tilled soil of her family’s farm. The sex is completely consensual, and the scene as it’s written is very hot. SilverHubby and I enjoyed it.

Then a few pages later, this happens:

Jaxom was not pleased with himself. He was thoroughly disgusted and revolted by the way he had used Corana. The fact that she seemed to have matched what he had to admit was a violent lust dismayed him. Their relationship, once innocent pleasure, had somehow been sullied. He wasn’t at all certain that he cared to continue as her lover, an attitude that posed another unpleasant burden of guilt. One point in his favour, he had helped her finish the hoeing his importunity had interrupted. That way, she’d not be in trouble with [her father] for shorting her task. … But he ought not to have taken Corana like that. Doing so was inexcusable.

~The White Dragon, Anne McCaffrey

Bam. And just like that, the hot scene was completely ruined for us. It wasn’t exciting or erotic that he had given into his lust and that she had responded with enthusiasm. It was dirty and wrong. It even makes it sound like he would have been happier if she had been disgusted or traumatised by the event. If she had, would he have kept going? The implication is that he would have.

I’ve gotten used to seeing slut-shaming online, often in a religious or political context. To see it in a novel that I read for the first time when I was in high school stunned me. I had gotten plenty of conditioning from religion to tell me that sex was dirtyfilthydisgusting, but it’s only now that I start to realize that my church wasn’t the only source of it. I was getting it culturally as well. I was getting it from places I don’t even remember getting it from. I’m still getting it.

Fuck that shit.

I love sex. It does not “sully my relationship” to give in to violent (consensual) lust. I’m not burdened with remorse or shame for my desires.

I’m a slut, and I’m proud of it.
Sultry Saturday