We use this phrase often,and it can be found out there in the BDSM world too, so I asked SilverHubby to talk about it. This is what he said …
What is PTP?
Protect the Property, or PTP as we say it to each other, is a concept I first came across many years ago, when Compuserve was where most of the kinky action was at and today’s Interwebs were a twinkle in the eye. Basically, it is a shorthand way of referring to the way we (and others) look out for each other within our relationship. Although I first heard it within the context of BDSM, it is applicable to others, I think. It means we always have our joint welfare in mind. This might mean that I don’t spank Silverdrop to the point where it causes a flare in her Fibromyalgia. Or, as a more mundane example, it means that I don’t try to accomplish so many tasks when I go out that I am left bed-bound for couple of hours when I get home. Also, we look out for each other by pointing out if we feel either one of us is attempting too much and hasn’t realised it.
How does it affect your relationship?
It is all-pervasive. It is something that is in our minds pretty much all the time. Not just at playtime. We are both disabled and have a limited amount of energy and capability we can apply to the tasks (not just the kinky ones) of any given day. The amount of energy is also quite variable – sometimes we can’t figure out what’s available until we actually start doing ‘stuff’. Quite simply, we are always looking out for each other. We/our relationship (often referred to at home as “Us.”) comes first, always.
Can you give a practical example of PTP in action in your relationship?
Well, I’m glad you asked that. 🙂 The most recent example was last night. You were in a recovery day from a migraine the day before and therefore not particularly ‘present’ for much of the day. I had been out doing some top-up grocery shopping during the afternoon and an emergency errand for a house-bound friend and was therefore in much more pain than usual, especially in my hips. This, based on what I have written already, might seem a classic PTP moment where we snuggle and go to sleep. But not. At bedtime you started stripping off and said “Let’s have anal.” or something very similar. I thought about it for several nanoseconds and agreed, even though I knew thrusting was probably going to hurt my hips (it did). But it was one of our best anal sessions ever (apparently I growled – a lot).
So how does that fit in with PTP? It’s actually very simple, in a vaguely complicated way. Our disabilities and other things can put a serious cramp on our ability to have all the sex we want. But PTP also means protecting our sexuality and libido. This means having sex. As so often in life, it is all about striking a balance. After the sex last night, although you were exhausted and I was in even more pain, we both actually felt physically and mentally much better, because it had been three days since we’d had any sex.
So, all as clear as mud?
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