It’s been eleven years? Twelve years? For some reason, I can’t remember how long it’s been since I made the offer, though I know the date: October 24.
We’d been flirting online. I knew I was aroused by BDSM play, but had no idea there was a BDSM community. He was telling me stories about his experiences. I was being sassy. (It was me, of course I was being sassy!) He said he’d like to spank me. Of course that’s exactly why I had been doing it.
“Why don’t you?” I asked. Pushing.
“I don’t have the right.” He replied.
The words came to me in a flash of inspiration. I knew what I wanted. I knew he wouldn’t take it. But I could give it.
“What if I offered you the right?”
Later, he told me that my words had triggered an immediate orgasm, sitting there at his computer, when nothing more than flirting had been going on. Later, I recognized that that moment, the moment when I made that offer, was a turning point. It was the moment I had claimed my own sexuality. It was the moment I laid a claim on the man I wanted.
There is no anniversary more meaningful to us than the day I said those words. And I’ve never regretted them.