SilverHubby shown at the waist, clothed, his hands holding a collar.

WickedWednesday: Hidden No More

Hmm, this week’s WickedWednesday theme is “hidden”.

I grew up in a family where we were taught, by word and deed, that it was important to keep some things hidden. How others perceived you was more important than anything else. Hide anything negative. Always be seen happy and smiling in public. Hide strong emotions, whether they are positive or negative, lest they shame you in public. Worst of all: what if the neighbours found out something was not perfect?

Hiding emotions means I have no memory of ever seeing my parents demonstrating affection to each other. Hmm, come to think of it, I don’t remember them showing any to me or my siblings either.

All problems, whether internal or external to the family must be hidden (“Swept under the carpet” was a phrase I remember them using). Do not talk about problems, even in the safety of the home where “they” cannot see or hear you.

I remember visiting friend’s houses during childhood and actually feeling shocked when I saw parents openly showing affection to each other and their kids. I actually thought they were the abnormal ones, I was so conditioned to hiding emotion.

By around the age of 15, I knew something was very wrong. I actually set out to reinvent myself and explore my emotions. I know, pretty amazing for a testosterone-riddled teenage boy to decide. Looking back throughout my life, I realise that many of my closest friends have been women from that point on. Perhaps this is because (trying not to stereotype here) women, in my experience, are generally better at dealing with, and talking about emotions than men are.

But it took years to change, and a first marriage that never should have happened. It took an affair with B, a woman I shall never forget, to finish the process of straightening me out. As Silverdrop will tell you, I am now a well-adjusted SadoDom who likes to tie her up and do terrible things too her and am able to talk about feelings comfortable. Any non-kinksters would have trouble with that sentence, I think.

No more hiding things. No more secrets.

Sadly, my siblings never did make the break and seem to be bringing up their kids much the same way we were.


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This entry was posted in #Memes, #WickedWednesday, Archive on by .

About silverdrop

Silverdrop and SilverHubby are a middle aged married opposite-sex couple living in the UK. Silverdrop is gender-queer and SilverHubby is pansexual. We use this blog to talk about our sex lives (especially our fanaticism about anal and pegging), share erotic photos, and offer sex toy reviews. Our [sex isn't always great], mostly because of our health problems, but we always write honestly about it. Our kinks include BDSM, gender-play, pegging, roleplay, fantasy, and lots and lots of anal.

40 thoughts on “WickedWednesday: Hidden No More

  1. Marie Rebelle

    My parents showed their emotions, but we too were taught to keep up appearances for the outside world. I never managed to do that, as I have been a rebel from quite a young age…

    Rebel xox

  2. SassyCat

    I think a lot of peeps can relate to your upbringing. I know I can, suffered for that upbringing too. Good for you for standing up and making a chance in your life.

  3. Molly

    My parents were an odd mixture of open, with regards to nudity but then I can’t even remember seeing them kissing or cuddling. I have tried to make sure that for my children they have been bought up in a environment where people are able to express themselves and their emotions


  4. John

    I was always told to ensure that your own kids are not screwed up in the same way you are. To that end, I am keen to ensure that the fears and corruptions I had/have, I do not pass onto my children. And I’m sure when they have kids they will endeavour to the the same, considering that some of the “values” I pass on, they will abandon.

  5. Heaven

    I did not learn anything from my parents I still can’t talk to any of them till this day. I had to learn things from my foster parents and friends.

  6. Lord Raven

    my house was divided, my father stoic, unemotional where my mother was (in his words) a loon that had no control. I was blessed to spend way more time around her and may others that helped groom the emotional side.
    I totally get what you are saying, and am glad you were able to break out and find that ability to let loos and express yourself.

  7. Mia

    Upbringing does influence and shape us in so many ways. What we then do with that shapes us further as we grow into the people that we are today. Our experiences of the past and what is to come allow us to move into whatever the next chapter may be. Life is a journey, some good, some not and quite a bit of “grey” inbetween. It is so important to live it the best and fullest that we can!

    ~Mia~ xx

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