Not a good start.
*reboots what I am pleased to call my mind*
When we first met, some 12 years ago, you were new to BDSM, whereas I was experienced. So we went slowly, finding out what you liked/loved/could tolerate etc. This took maybe a year, ramping up all the time as we explored just how deep your submission and masochism was (past tense intentional, but I’m coming to that). We found ourselves in a 24/7 Total Power Exchange (TPE) relationship and it was wonderful.
A few years later you became ill: mindfog, muscle pain; over-sensitivity to light/sound/touch at various times; exhaustion; trouble sleeping etc. Over a few years, you became 90% bed-bound. You can walk very short distances, but otherwise are in a wheelchair.
As you became weaker, the 24/7 TPE slowly slipped away. It had too – your body couldn’t handle it any more. The dynamic was still their in both our heads, but there was little physically we could do about it.
A few months ago, we had one of The Talks and decided we needed to find out what we could get back.
So we are once again exploring, probing, pushing. Looking to see what we can get back. And it is coming back, a little at a time, although we will not get it back to what it was (barring a miracle cure).
So here we we are. The wheel has turned full circle.